In any working environment there is always going to be some tension and occasional flashpoints, but it's important never to let feelings boil over.

Indeed, the one thing to avoid is letting potential conflict build up and drag on into something more destructive.

It is wise to recognise the conflict and the underlying cause. This way you can attempt to sort it out and take appropriate action to try and resolve it.

Be positive
Don't sit back if you are involved in a conflict with somebody – even if you don't think it is your fault. You'll waste valuable time and emotional energy with the conflicting person.

Evading is not an option, so addressing the underlying cause of the conflict sooner rather than later is vital. Furthermore, simply trying to win a conflict doesn't resolve the issue – and it can re-emerge in different ways.

Look for change
Sometimes conflict can actually be helpful and necessary if it leads to positive change.

That said, the first step is to try and handle the conflict constructively. Meaning you need to be looking for change. Conflicts that go on for years with no give or take are a result of no party willing to give way.

Finding the root
Very often, conflict is caused not by what was done or said, but perhaps what was left unsaid or undone: ranging from an unfulfilled promise or a lack of tact on someone's part.

Your decision to confront a conflict positively – and even prepare to sacrifice your position can be the sign that the other party is looking for to meet you half-way. In this case, the simplest way forward is to ask the other person for their viewpoint on the matter which is causing the conflict.

You may feel you are making all the moves and putting yourself on the line – but this doesn't mean you are the weaker party. Once you begin the dialogue – the unsaid becomes less threatening to both sides.

Finally, try not to take a conflict personally. Even the so called "personality clashes" and "deep loathings" have a lack of communication at their core.

Take an honest look
Be prepared to accept that it may actually be something you are doing or not doing that is the reason for conflict.

Admitting this can help a conflict disappear in many case and you may even find that preparing to admit you are wrong on some issues will see a similar reaction in the other person.

Handling long term conflicts
The long term conflict is one which has simply not been addressed. Certain individuals are avoided and attempting reconciliation will accordingly need more time and effort.

A quick decision on your part to pin down the other person and have a swift chat to sort it out will not work. You need to make an unhurried and calm approach, preferably when both sides are not under pressure at work, and even give some notice of your intentions.

Your conversation needs to be polite and rational while focussing on the situation and facts, avoiding gossip and personal attacks. Remain assertive but not triumphant or aggressive. You're attempting to get to the heart of the matter and not look for a winning position.

Independent thinking
In cases where the conflict is unreasonable – you have tried all of the above but the problem remains, you may wish to seek an independent viewpoint. After all, when companies and unions conflict, they seek arbitration – perhaps you can do the same.

Involve an understanding boss or someone from HR as they may be able to offer some way forward for both parties. Above all, your problem will be shared with someone who has no emotional energy tied up in the conflict. That alone can help alleviate your grievances and make your working life more acceptable even if you have to continue working with someone you simply are not compatible with.