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Flirting in the office isn't something confined to any one sex, or any age group. In fact, everyone does it at some time or other – and some more than others.
There's no doubt, however, that a bit of restrained flirting can actually help you get things done – and be appreciated by the recipient at the same time.
What is it – and how to do it?
Being friendly, smiling naturally and generally appearing to be confident and happy is a good start. You can't be a miserable flirt!
Flirting doesn't have to be intimidating or make you look foolish. At its best, flirting is actually more about the recipient than yourself.
It shows that the giver is making some sort of effort to be friendly – and that the recipient is being given special treatment.
Always Compliment
Compliments can sometimes be dangerous – especially if they are not sincere. But a genuine compliment about someone's work, or anything they have done builds tremendous goodwill. Moving from a compliment to a flirt is quite an obvious step. So if someone did a good job for you before, why not tell them and it'll make your next job that little easier. Or make it easier for you to ask favours when you have to.
Don't overdo it
You don't have to behave in an extrovert way. Flirting can be very subtle or just genuine affection for others. You just need to strike a balance. Paying a compliment is an obvious flirt, but so is agreeing to someone's suggestion or telling them when they've got it right.
Some people thrive on compliments, or even flattery, so you need to give it. In this case try to make your compliments sincere. Maybe they just want support in a non-work related situation. Remember, you're not losing anything by flirting.
Being available
Remember, someone might want to flirt with you, so flirting is also about responding to someone else's flirt. They're making the effort with you, so they're paying you a subtle compliment and will feel hurt if you ignore it.
You might need to laugh at someone else's joke or compliment them but in all cases, you'll find it easier to do your job if people like you and you make them feel slightly special, even in a small way.
A few flirting tips
Don't get too personal – keeping some things sacrosanct is far better in the long run
Keep your flirting light hearted and consistent. It can just be a smile in some cases.
If someone is flirt resistant, don't try to win them over. You're not there to ‘crack' someone. Simply to make work more enjoyable and easier for yourself.
Keep Giving
Flirting and making others believe in you means you have to keep giving. You can't be a flirt who simply turns the charm on and off when it suits you. You'll soon be found out.
That's why we say, “restrained flirting” is best. Being genuinely interested in the person you're flirting with – with no switching on and off when it suits you, carries a lot of goodwill.
And you can't keep giving if you're overdoing the flirting – you'll wear yourself out.
Flirting can be incredibly subtle, but no less powerful. Unless you're a natural it takes practice to find your “inner flirt”.
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